hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
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my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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