Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
