i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
