Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
