Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
