Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
