Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
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