Duck Duck Cougar?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
