we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize