How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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