OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
