it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
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