Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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