i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
