oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
