I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
