I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
