can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
my poor anus
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My vagina just clenched in fear
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
