So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
