I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
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i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
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I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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