We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
