Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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