So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
