i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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