I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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