What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
There are leaves in my underwear?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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