That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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