Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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