I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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