I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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