Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
