We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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