I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
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I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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