Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I love having hate sex.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
