i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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