I just made out with a guy for $7.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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