So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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