My liver just broke up with me...
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
