I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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