The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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