You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
