also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
