drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
