Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
