Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
