just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
