I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
