A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I have already put on my inside pants.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
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