I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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