On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
