I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I think your dad took our porno
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
