I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
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the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
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I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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