lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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