How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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