Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My pussy is not your playground.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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