return my video game
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
