I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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