My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I think my moral compass just broke
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
