Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
