Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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